Climbing Beacon Rock (not me!) and Climbing Over the Rocks of Our Past

I haven't done this! Climbing Beacon Rock: Photo by Tom Kaser

Good Morning, God!

I don’t like heights! I am maybe not quite as scared as I used to be — back before I was taking vitamin E — but, still I couldn’t see myself climbing up this trail. Yes, it has nice bars keeping you from slipping over. I know that, God. But it takes me back to when Kit and our girls (not yet teens) were hanging over the bars looking down at NOTHING at Glacier Point in Yosemite. Bad memories.

I’m glad I’m writing this down, God, because I find myself thinking — SO LET THEM GO! How does one root memories out of our amygdala? Pray about them? Look at them WITH You there — standing by? It brings to mind Combat Veterans and abused children who have to deal with REAL post traumatic shock. How does PSTD differ from just having a terrible thing happen? (God, I actually stopped and looked this up.) One way PTSD differs is that the symptoms don’t decrease with time. Apparently there is a separation between our memories of what happened and our feelings about it. Facing and feeling memories are part of the treatment.

I wonder if a feeling of powerless is involved, God. When I was attacked in my home by a burglar – I had positive things I was able to do. After I fell down the stairs and hit my head and the burglar stood over me hitting me with a stick I cried out, “Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, HELP ME!” The third time I cried that, the stick wavered in his hand, I grabbed it and he ran out. I was ALIVE! And I began giving You, THANKS and PRAISE!

That night I called a friend who was a pastor and asked him to come and pray with / for me. Second I called a friend who did home construction and asked him to come and put bars on the windows the burglar had come through. Being able to DO SOMETHING to “keep it from happening again” was really important to me. It gave me a sense of control.

Where is all of this taking me, God? Right now, I feel MUCH more COMPASSIONATE — toward myself (I’d forgotten that incident) and toward others. We can’t see inside ourselves or others, can we, God? Please help us as individuals and as a community to focus on HEALING and HELPING — ourselves and others. And, oh yes, on PREVENTION!